If only I could turn back time... the story of Samiya

"Samiya was a sweet, contented baby. I remember clearly the day she was born and how happy I was holding my baby in my arms for the first time. It was 1983. In those days we lived in Saham, north of the capital Muscat. When Samiya was 10 weeks old, we decided to go shopping in Dubai, just an hour and a half drive over the border into the Emirates.

As Samiya was still so small we thought it better to leave her at home with our housemaid who had been helping with Samiya since she was born. We kissed her goodbye and set off……. We didn’t know then of course, but that was to be the last time we would see our baby happy and healthy.

Later that day, Samiya started to vomit while the housemaid was feeding her a bottle of milk. The maid panicked and called a family friend to drive them to a clinic nearby. The maid jumped in the back of the car with Samiya in her arms. Just down the road, the driver pulled out to cross the highway not noticing a 4WD vehicle speeding towards them from the Muscat direction. The driver of the 4WD, unable to swerve in time, smashed into the side of the car at high speed.

The force of the collision threw Samiya violently from the maid’s arms and her tiny head and body smashed into the back of passenger seat. When the car came to rest, my baby was found on the floor jammed under the seat in front. The maid and driver were lucky, suffering only cuts and broken ribs. We were relieved when the clinic and then the hospital doctors assured us that Samiya was unhurt. In fact, unknown to us, she was in a coma, bleeding internally and dangerous levels of fluid were accumulating in her brain from the blow she had suffered to her fragile, little head in the crash.

The next day Samiya developed convulsions and a high fever. Again, the doctors at the local hospital insisted that she was fine. In desperation at her worsening condition, we rushed her to hospital in Muscat where the doctors realised she was bleeding internally and placed her in intensive care. With no change, two weeks later, we flew to India to see specialists. Immediately the neurosurgeon told us the bad news. With the build–up of fluid in the brain, each convulsion Samiya had suffered had killed vital nerve cells and left our baby brain-damaged forever.

That was 23 years ago. Samiya has grown into a woman now, but mentally she is still a small child. Years of treatment and therapy in hospitals in India, the USA and UK have enabled her, by the grace of God, to sit, walk and eat unaided but otherwise she needs, and will always need, constant care and supervision.

What do I feel as her mother, when I look at my daughter today? We thank God for Samiya - she is a much-loved member of  our family. Yet I feel overwhelming sadness for the joys of life that she will never feel, for the fact that she will never marry, never hold a child of her own and will depend entirely on others for the rest of her life. There is also guilt that we left our precious child in someone else's care, for the sake of a shopping trip.

My advice for parents?

Most parents would sacrifice everything for the sake of their children but sometimes caught up in the demands of our busy lives, we do not stop to think what we are doing. We forget just how vulnerable and precious are our children. Nothing on this earth matters more than ensuring your child’s safety. Nothing. No shopping trip, no appoinment, no wedding, no other family obligation.

The road, especially, is a dangerous environment for children. Stop and think whether you are putting their safety first. Is this journey really necessary? Is it worth the risk? If you have to carry children in the car, always strap them safely into a proper car seat in the back. Never leave them loose in the car or be tempted to hold them in your arms." Umm Samiya

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